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Writer's pictureJessicaHaber

Don’t Be An Asshole

Regarding relationships again, my friend and I were talking about relationships (she also has a disability) and how many people with disabilities say they can’t find a date or a partner because of their chair and I would like to quote her response:


“It’s not the wheelchair, you’re just an asshole.”


Number one, she’s funny and also has great taste in friends. Number two, she’s absolutely correct! Of course there are people out there who will only be with someone who is ‘perfect’ - at least to the naked eye. There are also plenty of people who have no problem dating someone regardless of a disability, weight issue, long term illness, or any number of things.


It’s not really about what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Yes, totally cheesy and cliche, I know, but also 100% TRUE.


Let’s clear one thing up first: you can have a disability and also be an asshole. Trust me, not everyone is as fabulous as I am 😉 Just because you are impaired or traumatized, doesn’t mean you automatically get a pass to be a douchebag. Most people are the same after as they were before the life changing event or diagnosis - and some of them were total assholes. It is what it is. #letsbehonest Those people can blame their circumstances for every other bad thing in their life but as we’ve discussed before:


ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING


There are also some very nice people with issues that might be super amazing but can’t take the focus off of their disability long enough to talk about anything else. That’s boring and depressing. Maybe thinking that and saying it out loud makes me an asshole too, I don’t know. Again, it’s okay to put it out there. It’s okay to talk about. It’s okay to get into more detail if someone asks or over the coarse of time, but when you meet someone that can’t talk about anything other than themselves - that’s a general ‘no thank you’ from everyone else (says the girl spewing her whole life on a page devoted to herself 😜).


It’s not about what makes you ‘unattractive’ or ‘different' or ‘not marriage material’. It’s not about what you can’t do or where you can’t go. It’s about what you bring to the relationship. It’s about how you make others feel. It’s about how you feel about yourself and how you project that to others.


There are all different types of people out there. Everybody is unique and everyone has certain things they look for in a partner. Sometimes you fall for someone you would never have thought was your type but there’s something about them that just makes you feel like they fit. You never know.


Just go out there and be yourself - whoever that is. Unless you’re an asshole - then get your shit together first. ✌🏼


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