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Writer's pictureJessicaHaber

Find Your Tribe

This one might be a little preachy but whatever still gonna drop some knowledge on you before the weekend:


With all of this relationship talk I think it’s important to mention the non-romantic relationships that are also so important. Those we have with family and friends.


I am lucky enough to have an incredibly supportive family. Maybe my accident was initially what brought us all closer together. I can’t say for certain if we would had the same bond we do now. They always have my back but they’re also not afraid to tell me how insane me or my ideas are at times.


For the most part, my inner circle of friends still consists of the same amazing people it did thirty years ago. I have definitely picked some equally great people up as I grew older and moved through life but our bonds are solid and our ties have withstood everything that life has thrown at us - good and bad.


All of these people have one thing in common - they keep me grounded. It’s not a one way deal - I do exactly the same for them. Anyone I have in my life is there because together we go through the best and worst of times. We don’t sugar coat things. We don’t just agree to make each other feel good. We listen and respond openly and honestly. If we couldn’t do that, what would be the point?


When I reached my thirties, I finally learned that it was not selfish but totally okay to let go of relationships that didn’t serve me well. Even saying this sounds a little spiritual for someone like me but I think it’s the best way to express what I mean.


Sometimes we keep people in our lives out of obligation or something we shared in the past that bonded us together. But life continues on and people change. It doesn’t mean that those you let go are bad people or somehow less than you as a person. It just is what it is.

If you give your time to people that stress you out, or constantly rant about their own lives but never seem to have the time to give back to you, or shoot you down when you’re experiencing something great, what is the point?


I’ve been told I can be bitchy. I have been called a name or two for letting toxic relationships go - but I did it for ME. I did it in an unselfish way because I needed to move forward in my life and something about those particular relationships was holding me back. I don’t hate, I don’t talk bad about those in my past - our lives just moved in separate directions.

Those that are in your life - your spouse, your family, your friends - they should bring you joy. They should be willing to be there for you and to help guide you. They should be able to tell you the truth - even when it hurts - because they know you need to hear it. They should be happy for you and bring you up. AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME FOR THEM.


Life is short. Find your tribe. Find those that want to share in your joy. It’s okay to let go of those who don’t. They have a place just as you have yours. Hold onto the ones who help push you forward and let go of those who only want to hold you back.


To my tribe: Thank you ❤️ I apologize to those not pictured and also- let’s get some updated photos 😂 #thecouch #smacktalk #family #tribe



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