My accident happened in 1991. In case you’re not good at math- that was a long freaking time ago. I don’t know why this never occurred to me until now but I suddenly realized that my parents were just a few years younger than I am now at that time.
Once I got that thought in my head I couldn’t let it go. Like, holy shit. A young couple in their early forties enjoying a day at the aquarium and next thing you know their lives are turned upside down. Sure, mine was too but in a totally different way.
How the hell did they handle that? How did they manage everything that happened from that moment on? Every parents worst nightmare is for something horrible to happen to their child. And they fucking lived it.
They didn’t just live it though. They stepped up, took action, and forged ahead like two middle aged bosses.
It’s so strange how I barely feel like an adult at this point in my life and these two people took a deep breath and somehow juggled ALL OF IT.
They were there for me emotionally. They found the means to remodel their home to make it useable and comfortable for me. They likely put some of the needs of my siblings aside to be there for me. They found great doctors, therapists, hospitals, treatments - and fought many battles along the way. They did it for me and in such a way that it took me half a lifetime to realize how much actually went into every single decision and move they made along the way.
People see me and it’s visibly obvious that I’ve been through some shit. There was a lot for me to deal with but when I really stop to think about it - they were behind it all.
There have always been so many incredibly strong people behind me. My parents were the first ones in this role and in many ways, the most important. They were so young - relatively speaking of course and that part of the equation just never occurred to me before.
I thought of this while I was complaining about remote learning and vowing to fully support my 11 year olds’ decision to drop out of school. I’ve been so fed up that anything would be easier than common core long division. Then I took a breath and thought, ‘well, it could be worse’ and in the words of my mom’s best friend and someone who was always like a second mother to me: ‘and it probably will be’.
No matter what your situation, at some point we are all faced with obstacles. Sometimes they’re small, sometimes they’re huge. Sometimes it’s trying to teach long division. Sometimes it’s a life changing car accident. Sometimes it’s a world wide pandemic.
IT’S ALL RELATIVE.
The point here is not just to sing the praises of my parents but also- why wouldn’t I? They went through some shit - and they came out stronger and braver. We all did. What I’m trying to tell you is that no matter what the situation is, it’s up to you to choose how you’re going to handle it.
Our lives could’ve gone on a much different path had their reaction to my situation been different. It would have had a domino effect on every aspect of each of our lives and the lives of the other paths we crossed. I value this very important lesson that for whatever strange reason, I didn’t fully comprehend until now.
You always have the option to choose your own path - regardless of what life throws at you. Whichever direction you decide to go, remember there are probably some very important people watching that might just follow along.
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