I’ve spoken before about how much I “stand out” in a crowd. It’s really hard for me to blend in or not attract attention a lot of the time. Even just a second glance.
One of the perks that excited me when we moved across country was being able to go incognito- at least for a while. Long Island isn’t as big as you would think and Baldwin is a much smaller town than I ever realized. I was looking forward to flying under the radar and not having people know who I was or anything about me.
That probably sounds super narcissistic but it’s the nature of the beast. When you’re in school- or a parent at school where there are a thousand people and you look noticeably different than 99% of them - it just is what it is.
It’s kind of like being famous but, like, PBS famous. No real money or perks, people just recognize you and don’t really make a big deal about it.
I’m somewhat introverted and although I do exchange quick, casual conversations a lot, I try to avoid people in public most of the time - I’m awkward and terrible at small talk. That becomes really difficult when most people notice you - especially in places I frequent.
My husband will ask why everyone in the supermarket knows me - or why the girl at the deli counter hugs me when she hands me sliced meat. Sometimes I have to ask for help. People remember. Sometimes people feel some kind of kinship with me. My friend laughs and says, “don’t they know you’re really an asshole?” No, no they don’t. People assume I’m nice 😂
What’s really funny is that as much as I like to be unseen, I also get super confused on the rare occasion when someone DOESNT recognize me. How can someone see me so often and not remember me? Don’t they know who I am? Can I speak to your manager? 😜
Really though- it also makes me feel even more special. It’s silly, but I had a customer recently tell me that she never noticed I was in a wheelchair and I was like, really? That’s weird but also, How cool! It doesn’t happen often but my reaction to it reminds me how used to “special treatment” I have become.
I don’t like to be treated different or special but a lot of the time, i just am. Sometimes I need help. Sometimes I don’t but people still want to offer. Doors are opened, associates come around counters to converse. It’s not expected or always necessary, but it happens. Again, the nature of the beast.
I think looking like an average person but having such a huge physical difference can be intriguing to others. Not to everyone, of course, but many. Not in a positive or negative way, just out of the norm. After so many years it’s just become a part of everyday life. I barely notice anymore until I’m with someone else who points it out.
Just sharing a random observation. We’ll get back to this again :-)
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