I had planned to write something else this week but I had an experience that I thought would be cool to share.
Every couple of months I get together with some pretty amazing women. Actually, there are a few groups of amazing women I’m lucky to be a part of (I’m kind of a big deal 😜) but this one is extra special. This one is made up solely of women in wheelchairs who have been disabled for one shitty reason or another.
Something necessary we must do as a group when planning an outing is consider accessibility. Is there enough handicapped parking to accommodate each of us? Can we get in and find a place to sit? Is there an accessible bathroom? Oh, and this is a fun one - will the restaurant or venue be cool having a bunch of wheelchairs together? Because guess what? They’re not always into that idea.
What I like being with a group like this is that they just “get it”. It’s easy. Even though I know my ambulatory friends never mind accommodating my needs, I hate having to ask.
What I LOVE about being with this group.. well, there are a few things. We just get each other. We know the ins and outs and the bullshit we deal with on a daily basis that most people can never understand. We can joke and make fun of each other in that intimate way that only those bonded by trauma can do.
Most of all, I love the power we have. I mean, obviously I must be a bit of a narcissist since I’m writing about myself every fucking week lol, but this kind of power is different.
When eight beautiful women walk into a restaurant, they typically turn heads. When eight beautiful women ROLL into a restaurant, EVERYBODY looks. Literally, E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y.
We turn heads. We command attention. We don’t need it. We don’t want it. We don’t ask for it. It just comes with the territory. It’s impossible to fly under the radar when we are together. People notice us. People stare. It can be uncomfortable but it can also be empowering because when people see us laughing, being loud and silly, and just having fun, it also sends a message - we are just like everyone else.
We are not asking for sympathy. We are not looking to inspire you. We are not trying to stand out (obviously 😂). We are just women who share something in common and enjoy each others
company. But simply by doing that, we generate an incredible amount of power and influence.
We show people see that it’s okay to be different. We help others physically see that it’s okay to experience something shitty because life still goes on. There is still fun to be had. You can still find a sense of camaraderie. There will always be others who understand and support you no matter how alone or isolated you think you might be.
Is it awkward to have all eyes on you? For me personally, absolutely, but in that group, with those incredible women by my side who I know first hand are strong as fuck, it is truly amazing. We are a force. Find your tribe and never be afraid to stand out… or sit out? Damnit, one day I’ll figure it out 😂
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