All this talk about relationships and I haven’t mentioned the most important thing: what do I bring to the table?
Well, first of all, helllllooo 😜
No, but really, as a person with a disability I think in addition to my many endearing qualities, NOT bringing attention to my disability is something that just kind of happened naturally for me. (This page aside). It’s obvious when you first see me but it’s also not what I’m all about. As those around me get to know me, my disability becomes less apparent and almost invisible.
I’ve had people say to me many times, “I forget you’re in a wheelchair.” So weird, right? It’s like I’m so fucking amazing I overshadow the obvious. But it’s true. Just because I have a disability, it doesn’t mean my entire life has to revolve around it. To be clear, physically my life does in fact revolve around it, but we’ll save that for another time.
Just because something is a part of you, it doesn’t have to consume you. It doesn’t have to always be a part of the conversation. It doesn’t have to justify they why and how of every day living and how those around you see and feel about you.
Think about it in terms of social media. You ‘meet’ or ‘talk’ to people you’ve never met in person. How would you react if your online conversations or comments were always negative or relating to something from the past that someone can’t let go? How much fun would it be if we were getting to know each other and every question you asked I answered using my disability? Annoying? Whiny? Boring? Yes, yes, and yes.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Shit happens - to all of us. We ALL carry some sort of baggage inside or out (or both in my case), but that shouldn’t characterize who we are. It’s not fun to relive your tragedy day in and day out. It’s not pleasant for anyone when your attitude revolves around something you just can’t let be.
It’s okay to share your experiences - good or bad - but they absolutely shouldn’t define who you are.
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